You just had an amygdala hijacking, now what?

If you just read that headline and said, "what the heck is she talking about?!" you're likely not alone. I myself, had not heard of an amygdala hijacking until I was getting my certificate in Emotional Intelligence a few years back. 

So what is it?! 

An amygdala hijacking is when we let our emotions get the best of us and we lash out. Maybe we yell at our spouse or get frustrated with a co-worker or let our annoyance overtake our parenting. No matter the exact response, it ALWAYS seems to result in guilt and a waterfall of negative emotions around not showing up in the way that we wanted to. 

Why does this happen? 

The reason this happens is because we allow our emotional reaction to become the default out of habit and when our emotional reaction becomes the default, our neo-cortex(the part of our brain that handles critical thinking) is hijacked and instead of THINKING through the scenario we immediately go into REACTION mode. 

If this sounds like something that has happened to you, you're definitely not the only one! As humans and especially during this global pandemic, our emotions are running high! It's also impossible to show up exactly how we want to everyday(if you are reading this and think you can show up perfect everyday, you're lying to yourself -- STOP IT!).

Like you, I have plenty of examples of times where I didn't show up in the way that I wanted to, but I've come up with a few steps to help myself(and hopefully you!) bounce-back quicker when it does. 

Step 1: Give Yourself Grace 

When we don't show up the way that we want to, it's SO EASY to rid ourselves with guilt. The truth is though, we are human, living out real human experiences that will result in messy and imperfect reactions at times. 

Step 2: Don't Let This Derail Your Entire Day/Night 

It's easy to let a situation where we act-out derail our entire day. We think on it, we talk about it with anyone we can and we replay the whole thing over and over again in our minds. This constant replay does nothing to help us and instead traps us in the past. It happened, now is the opportunity to move on and work on our future reactions. 

Step 3: Genuinely Apologize 

If your amygdala hijacking resulted in lashing out at someone, you owe them an apology and a genuine one. 

Step 4: Get To The Root Of Your Reaction

You had this emotional reaction for a reason, now is the time to uncover what that reason was. Getting to the root of your reaction allows you to solve for it, making it less likely that you'll react in the exact same way again. Grab a journal, meditate and dig deep to help yourself understand the emotions behind your reaction. 

Step 5: Use Your Self-Awareness Next Time 

Leverage your self-awareness to SLOW DOWN next time you feel an emotional outburst bubbling under the surface. Our reactions can become habitual, but if you break the habit of leading with your emotional default you can train yourself to slow down so that your neo-cortex can catch up and help you through your critical thinking. 

Most importantly, remember that this happens to all of us. None of us are immune to an emotional outburst here or there but we all have the ability to choose what our next step will be and I hope that next step is filled with positivity and grace for yourself.

If your looking to dive deeper into emotional intelligence, click on the link below to learn more about my WYDM X Self-Mastery course where I have an entire module dedicated to mastering our emotions.